When Aaron’s sons were struck dead for offering up strange fire in the incense censors of the Temple, they were suddenly struck dead by fire that came from heaven. 1 In the next verse we find Aaron’s very appropriate response to the sudden passing of his sons. “And Aaron remained silent.” 2
Responding properly to death, even as believers, can be a challenge. As part of the human race we have typical responses: agony, pain, tears, fear, anger, questions, confusion. All of these emotions and actions can overwhelm us when dealing with the loss of a loved one.
God knows, I started my pastorate the year I lost three of the dearest and most important people in my life; my grandmother, my sister-in-law (best friend), and mentor/ pastor, Sr. Celeste. That year was the most difficult year of my life. It took years to not feel numb anymore. Within the next year and a half that followed, another six loved ones passed, and added to the grieving process that seemed to be complicating a number of things in my life, not to mention the direction of my ministry.
As of today I am completing the 23rd year of pastoring, and have begun my 37th year of full time ministry. In that time I have stood by a lot of families as they sat in front of coffins having to say a “too quick, too soon” farewell to a beloved family member. I can cry along side the best of them! The last three and a half years we have had to bury three congregants- two husbands and one son in his prime. What do I say to the wives, the mothers, who’ve had to watch their worlds change in an instant?
I came across this scripture in Leviticus in my devotions this week. Seeing Aaron’s response to his sons dying spoke volumes. Silence. Silence is the most common response I have when sitting with someone going through the loss of a family member. What words could be adequate to speak? What can words do? Sometimes the platitudes can bring more bitterness then healing and comfort. But to see that the Hebrew word for ‘mourner‘ is AVeiL אבֵלֹ, and using the same letters with different vowels by changing the word to AVaL אבָל means ‘but‘ is quite interesting. Because its true that words don’t suffice when one is going through the horror of a death. When we face the unknown, silence is the best we can give.
We know that our loved on is gone, but there is more to this life. God has his reason for taking him… but our minds can’t wrap around the thought of it. Our hearts ache for the loss… but God has a balcony view we can’t see or comprehend in this dimension.
Maybe God is trying to console us with the “but” אבל … the AVaL of reality… telling us there is more than tragedy before our eyes. אבל …At times AVaL is past our comprehension! My prayer is that we understand and comprehend God’s אבל. May we grasp His reality as we silence ourselves before Him.
God bless you and yours.
Pastor Deborah