“But you, when you pray, enter into your closet, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father which is in secret; and your Father which sees in secret shall reward you openly. But when you pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.” ¹ 

As I looked over this verse in my devotional studies this morning it reminded me of an experience with a closet we used to store sound equipment and things needed to take to service  back in the day when we rented different halls and churches for our fellowship meetings. This closet was quite spacious and also held every coat, jacket, pair of shoes, winter boots, hats, scarves, umbrellas, not to mention the myriads of things no longer displayed on shelves, or hung on the walls, and countless unnecessary junk from garage sales. Needless to say this closet was packed tight! One day my pastor, Sr. Celeste, tasked me with cleaning this closet. I dutifully went to work and emptied the entire room, sorting, folding, bagging up some things and neatly stacking the closet. It was in the summertime and it was hot! I stood back after the last tub of equipment and sound speaker was placed on its floor, and looked at this beautiful, put-together masterpiece. That week our next meeting was out of state and we were to return late…2:00 AM and  still 92 degrees outside! Exhausted and hot I began off-loading all the equipment and placing it in that closet as quickly and as quietly as possible. But when things kept falling on my head, interfering with my work, I stepped back, flinging off of my head 20 year old coats, muffs, scarves and pictures…trying not to trip on the rubble laying at my feet, and with a fit of frustration I looked at the closet and spoke out in anger, …. “What on earth! How can this closet be such a mess? I just cleaned it out!” And, as fast as those words left my lips, I heard a still, small voice speak to me, saying, “Yes, but you didn’t throw anything out.” At that moment the light went on in my heart, calming me down and showing me what I needed to do.

It seems strange that Jesus would tell us to go into a closet to pray. Usually we use our closets to store vacuum cleaners, brooms, junk, winter coats, and moth balls. You name it… it can be found in a storage closet. I’m reminded of that movie War Room, where a woman going through hard times with her marriage was counseled to make a space for prayer, a war room of sorts where she can list the problems, petitions, and victories of answered prayer. A place she could go to be alone with God and pray. But it took work to set that up, because storage closets were made for junk, not prayer.

The word for closet in Greek is Tamieion, ² , a secret place, a treasure room, a granary: a place well guarded. ³ But Jesus would have spoken the Aramaic word for closet: Tawanaah: a room where valuables and supplies are restored, a room without windows. That word is also used as a metaphor to describe one’s heart. ⁴

What did Jesus mean when He said that the Father is in secret and sees in secret? The word secret (Greek- krypto κρυπτῷ) ⁵ portrays the idea of “secret inward parts.” Jesus is speaking something here with a double meaning. We are to ‘closet ourselves away to share the intimate secrets of our hearts, while He shares the secrets of His heart with us.’ This sharing His heart with us is our reward!… One that we are not able to receive from public prayer. Public prayer doesn’t have the shared hidden secrets of the heart. Private prayer would, however. This kind of praying is meant for me and Jesus alone; for you and Jesus alone.

Yet, there is also another use of the word for tawanaah. It is the word for ‘silence.’ Funny how many charismatics and pentecostals tend to think that we need to keep ‘talking‘ to pray. I found a passage in Ancient Jewish Literature that was quite interesting: “That a man should not allow his voice to be heard in prayer, but should pray in silence, with a voice that is not heard: and this is the prayer which is daily accepted.” ⁶ When you share your heart with someone long enough, words don’t have to be spoken to communicate with one another. Share your inner heart’ secrets long enough with God and learn to hear His heart and pretty soon its your heart that is speaking, not your lips.

But returning to my experience with the cluttered, packed closet… Distractions have to be pushed out. Junk needs to be removed. If we are to have time with God every day it takes work! Clear that schedule. Remove the clutter and simply your life. Turn that cluttered closet of mothballs and time into a tabernacle of prayer. The reward is far more precious than words can convey.

May you and yours be blessed today!

Pastor Deborah

When Aaron’s sons were struck dead for offering up strange fire in the incense censors of the Temple, they were suddenly struck dead by fire that came from heaven. ⁵ In the next verse we find Aaron’s very appropriate response to the sudden passing of his sons. “And Aaron remained silent.”  ⁷

Responding properly to death, even as believers, can be a challenge. As part of the human race we have typical responses: agony, pain, tears, fear, anger, questions, confusion. All of these emotions and actions can overwhelm us when dealing with the loss of a loved one.

God knows, I started my pastorate the year I lost three of the dearest and most important people in my life; my grandmother, my sister-in-law (best friend), and mentor/ pastor, Sr. Celeste. That year was the most difficult year of my life. It took years to not feel numb anymore. Within the next year and a half that followed, another six loved ones passed, and added to the grieving process that seemed to be complicating a number of things in my life, not to mention the direction of my ministry.

As of today I am completing the 23rd year of pastoring, and have begun my 37th year of full time ministry. In that time I have stood by a lot of families as they sat in front of coffins having to say a “too quick, too soon” farewell to a beloved family member. I can cry along side the best of them! The last three and a half years we have had to bury three congregants- two husbands and one son in his prime. What do I say to the wives, the mothers, who’ve had to watch their worlds change in an instant?

I came across this scripture in Leviticus in my devotions this week. Seeing Aaron’s response to his sons dying spoke volumes. Silence. Silence is the most common response I have when sitting with someone going through the loss of a family member. What words could be adequate to speak? What can words do? Sometimes the platitudes can bring more bitterness then healing and comfort. But to see that the Hebrew word for ‘mourner‘ is AVeiL אבֵלֹ, and using the same letters with different vowels by changing the word to AVaL אבָל means ‘but‘ is quite interesting. Because its true that words don’t suffice when one is going through the horror of a death. When we face the unknown, silence is the best we can give.

We know that our loved on is gone, but there is more to this life. God has his reason for taking him… but our minds can’t wrap around the thought of it. Our hearts ache for the loss… but God has a balcony view we can’t see or comprehend in this dimension.

Maybe God is trying to console us with the “but” אבל … the AVaL of reality… telling us there is more than tragedy before our eyes. אבל …At times AVaL is past our comprehension! My prayer is that we understand and comprehend God’s אבל. May we grasp His reality as we silence ourselves before Him.

God bless you and yours.

Pastor Deborah

For the last twelve years I have been on a journey in my personal study time. A journey that has opened the eyes of my understanding with a beauty that can only be seen in the study of Biblical Hebrew. There are four levels of study and teaching in Judaism. Jesus used all these in the gospels.

In my devotional time this morning, I came across a study on the Hebrew word for trouble: TSaRaH (צָרָח). It means to be in straits, or in distress.

Painful times in our lives often produce the opportunity for a greater good. It’s in hind sight, after the trouble has subsided that we often see this. George Bernard Shaw once said, “The desert is a desert because the sun always shines there. Without rain there can be no growth, without storm there can be no creativity. In his drash teaching, ⁸  Rabbi Blech noted that when you rearrange the letters (which is an esoteric style of teaching or study linking shared letters to shared meanings)⁹ it reads TSoHaR (צהר) … the word for window. He noted, “Through pain one can see farther, through grief one can gain vision. The pain of trouble and sorrow can become the pane of insight.” ¹⁰

Are you going through a time of grief or sorrow? Is there trouble in your life? Take consolation in this; God will never waste your sorrows. He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. Give Him the chance to turn your sorrows into joy, your mourning into dancing.

“For the Leader. A Psalm of David. The LORD answer thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob set thee up on high: Send forth thy help from the sanctuary, and support thee out of Zion…” (Psalm 20:1-2)

The Lord richly bless your week.